Shower Stories
by Waffle of Doom
Summary: Jasper walks in on Bella while she's taking a shower. What will happen when Edward finds out? How does Bella react to this? RATED T BECAUSE IT TURNS OUT JASPER HAS A POTTYMOUTH!
1. OOH! Edward's Gonna KILL You!

**A/N Hey, look, I wrote a THIRD story in ONE DAY! WOOHOO! I'm gonna go do a happy dance now!**

**BTW, this idea was given to me by the talented ****YoricksSkull**.

**Disclaimer- ZERO, ZIP, NADA, NOTHING, that, my dear reader, is what I own. So very sad for me.**

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**JPOV**

I was standing in front of the counter in my bathroom looking through the drawers, "Hmm, I guess I'm out of hair gel," I thought while closing the drawers, "I wonder if Edward has any."

I walked up the stairs to Edward's room, I raised my hand to knock on the door, but before I did I remembered he had gone out hunting for a couple hours. I gripped the doorknob and turned it, the door swung open. I turned left to go into his bathroom and noticed that the bathroom door was already open.

"Odd." I thought as I walked through the bathroom doorway.

I realized Bella was in the shower too late. I continued to stand, completely dumbfound, in the doorway for second. It was, apparently, a second to long.

Bella turned around in the shower to grab something, saw me and screamed, loudly.

I turned and took off at vampire speed down the two flights of stairs leading to the first floor into the living room.

"Hey Jasper!" Emmett called to me from the couch, "What was Bella screaming about?"

"Huh, what? Oh, nothing." I replied, still stunned, why didn't I just turn and leave when I realize Bella was in there, why did I have to stand there like an idiot?

"You didn't eat her did you?" Emmett questioned jokingly.

"WHAT?!" I all but shouted, "No!"

"Then what did you do?"

"What makes you think _I _did something?"

"Because Alice went out to get Bella food, Carlisle is at the hospital, Esme's outside, Edward is hunting, and Rose is shopping. So, all that leaves is you that made her scream, cause I know _I _didn't do anything." Emmett replied smugly.

"Fine." I answered him dejectedly, "I'll tell you. I accidentally walked in on Bella why she was in the shower."

He stared at me for a second then rolled over laughing, "AHAHAHA, Edward's gonna _kill _you!"

"Not if I don't tell him he won't."

"Are you forgetting that he can read your mind _and _Bella will tell him anyways." Emmett asked incredulously.

"No, I haven't forgotten and if I ask her not to tell we both know she won't." I replied

"Whatever, I still think he's gonna kill you."

Then we both stopped talking, Bella was walking down the stairs.

I ran over to her, "Look, Bella, I'm so sorry. I had no idea you were in the bathroom, I wasn't even paying attention." I tried to explain.

She looked up at me, "It's fine Jasper, it was an accident. No harm, no foul. And don't worry, I won't tell Edward, because we both know he'll overreact."

A feeling of relief swept throughout my entire body, "Thank you, Bella, I appreciate it."

**One Hour Later**

**EmPOV**

After the whole 'Bella incident' was over with, or at least over with until Edward gets home, Jasper and I started to play a video game while Bella sat on the other living room couch reading, again, she sure reads a lot.

I heard the front door open and turned to see Edward walk in.

"EDWARD!" Bella yelled and jumped up to run over to him, halfway there she tripped, again, and Edward caught her.

After their sappy reunion, which I'm gonna just skip, Edward looked at Bella and asked, "So, anything interesting happen while I was gone?"

"Umm," she said nervously, "not really…"

He raised his eyebrow, seeing right through her façade.

"Haha, Edward's going to kill Jasper." I thought.

At that Edward's head snapped up and he looked at me, "Why, exactly, am I going to kill Jasper, Emmett?"

"What?! I didn't say that!" Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.

"No, but you thought it." He answered.

I looked over at Jasper, who, if he could, would be sweating profusely right now.

"Emmett." Edward growled, "Tell me."

"Alright! JasperWalkedInOnBellaWhileSheWasInTheShower." I blurted out. Whoo, glad that's off my chest!

"HE _WHAT_?!" He roared.

Jasper jumped up and took off out the back of the house with Edward hot on his trail.

I ran after them, shouting, "SEE JASPER! I TOLD YOU HE'D FIND OUT!"

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**A/N Okay, people, here's the deal, I have less then 15 reviews on EVERY STORY I've written! Do you know how SAD that makes me? Especially when they all have over 300hits each, some have over _600_! Please REVIEW! If you don't I might just have to stop writing! How sad would THAT be?!**

**_REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!_**


	2. I've Been Expecting You

**A/N YOU LIKE ME! YOU REALLY LIKE ME! (says overly dramatic while blowing kisses)  
You guys are so awesome, every last one of you! _And _because all of you are so awesome I'm going to continue with this story! So... YEH!**

**Also, I love every review that I've gotten, and I couldn't be happier about them, but because of the surprisingly large amount of reviews, I will not be able to respond to them all anymore, but I will still try to answer some. Thanks.**

**Disclaimer- I've said it before and I'll say it again, "I OWN NOTHING!" **

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JPOV

"Hey! Jasper! You're not a pile of ash!" Emmett bellowed from the couch as I walked in our front door. "I was sure Edward was gonna catch you, you're a lot slower, after all."

"Not when he's trying not to be ripped to pieces, he isn't." Alice answered him as she danced gracefully down the stairs to my side.

Edward had been chasing me for a few solid hours and I had finally managed to shake him off somewhere around Reade Hill. I figured that it should be safe to come back to the house because he would probably still be out looking for me.

"So you know, huh?" I asked sheepishly.

"Of course I know, nothings a secret in this house. Plus Emmett was practically singing about it when I got back, " Alice replied.

I glared at Emmett and growled, he just looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. He is so dead later.

"Edward's not here, is he?" I asked Alice.

"No, I haven't seen him." She said, "He might be at Bella's, I took her home about an hour ago."

"Good, I have some time then." I thought to myself.

"I'm going to go get cleaned up then." I stated to them as I turned to walk up the stairs.

… … … … … … … …

I reached the top of the stairs and headed in the direction of my room. When I got to the door I opened it and reached for the light, but before I could flick the switch on I heard a voice from across the room.

"Hello, Jasper. I've been expecting you."

I looked over to see the tall, slim figure in front of the window, surrounded by a halo of moonlight.

It was Edward.

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**A/N DUN, DUN, DUUUUUUUN! OOH cliffie! And yes, I know it's a short chapter, but somebody asked me to update before Friday because they are going out of town, and I wanted to make them happy, HECK, I want to make ALL of you happy! Aren't I wonderful? **

**Review or ice cream will taste like Brussel**** sprouts.**


	3. Oh, I like it, I like it a lot

**A/N YEA! New chapter! I have FINALLY figured out how this story is going to end up playing out. So... DOUBLE YEA!  
OH! I added a poll to my profile, go vote in it! **

**Alrighty ****that's all.**

**Disclaimer:  
sings to the tune of Barney  
I love you! You love me!  
I own nothing, can't you see?!**

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**JPOV**

As soon as I heard his voice I immediately flinched, waiting for the attack that didn't come.

"Don't worry," Edward said calmly, "I'm not going to hurt you, yet."

"You- you're n-not going to hurt me?" I stammered.

"No," he corrected as he started to walk towards me, "I'm not going to hurt you _yet_."

He put his hand on my shoulder, "I am, however, going to hurt you in the near future. I just haven't thought of a fitting enough punishment for you at this point in time, so you have to wait a little bit longer to be harmed."

Oh great, he's going to drag the torture out.

"You know, I hadn't thought of it that way, but you're right, I am dragging it out, which makes it even better." He smirked, while answering my thoughts.

As he left my room he called behind him, "I'll be seeing you around Jasper!"

Please, somebody, just kill me now.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

**EmPOV**

Edward walked down the stairs into the living room, where I was playing a video game, looking deep in thought.

"Hey Eddie! What cha thinking so hard about? You look like you're head's gonna explode!" I asked boisterously while pausing my game.

He glared at me, "Don't call me Eddie."

"Fine. What are you thinking so hard about, _Edward_?" I emphasized.

"None of your business, _Emmett_." He emphasized back. Wow, he's obnoxious for a vampire.

"No I'm not, it's just, as I said, none of your business." He answered my thoughts.

"Come on." I whined, he hates that so much, "I might be able to help."

"Actually…" Edward started, stroking his chin, "You may be right about that. I'm trying to decide how to exact my revenge against Jasper for what he did to Bella."

An idea immediately popped into my head

"Oh, I like it." Edward said sinisterly as he saw the idea play out in my head. "I like it _a lot_…"

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**A/N Yes, I know, short chapter, but then again, all my chapters are, in fact, short. I don't have a big enough attention span to make them any longer, sorry.**

**OKAY, here's the deal, if you review AND vote in my poll I will be inclined to update sooner, and the sooner I update, the sooner you get to find out what horror Emmett has dreamed up for Jasper!**

**SO REVIEW AND VOTE!**


	4. YOU WANT TO SEE ME NAKED?

**A/N Soooo, I started this chapter yesterday, but I didn't finish it till this afternoon because right after I started, I had to leave and didn't get home until midnight. "Where was I?" you may ask. Well, my lovely readers, I was at a concert, a JONAS BROTHERS concert! I'm so freaking tired today, it's not even funny, I'm actually shocked that I wasn't to tired to write today, because, well, I'm a Jonas freak, I was jumping up and down, singing at the top of my lungs, and most of all, screaming whenever it got even remotely quiet, "I LOVE YOU KEVIN!!" because I was unable to contain myself. I know I'm insane. Oh! I also met a REALLY hot guy who was handing out fliers for his band called 'The American Beat' (check them out on myspace, they're really good!), and I flirted with him for quite a while. So needless to say I had a great night.**

**Well, that's enough of my rambling, so without further delay, and absolutely no ado what so ever, I give you CHAPTER FOUR! (Yes, I stole that from the movie A ****Knights Tale)**

**Disclaimer- Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight, I'm just borrowing it.**

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JPOV

"_OH JASPER_…" Called Edward in a sing-song voice.

Oh no. He shouldn't be happy enough to sing my name, unless, no, he couldn't have already thought of what he's going to do to me, I was just talking to him not five minutes ago.

"Well, here goes nothing," I said to myself and turned on my heels to see what Edward was calling me for.

"Yes, Edward?" I asked when I arrived in the living room to see him standing next to the couch where Emmett was seated and smiling like a preschooler with a puppy. Edward was emitting waves of pure sadistic pleasure.

Shit.

"Emmett has given me an idea as to what to do with you for payback."

I'm going to kill Emmett.

"Really?" I asked crestfallen, "What is it?"

"Well, since you didn't actually physically hurt Bella, just embarrass her…"

"Like that's hard to do." Emmett snorted and Edward shot him a glare that was the true meaning of the phrase 'if looks could kill'. Emmett shut up immediately.

"As I was saying," Edward continued," Since Bella was just embarrassed, then you should be to, but on a larger scale."

"What do you mean?" I questioned him suspiciously.

"What I mean is that you are also going to be stripped down for everyone to see," Edward said with a smirk.

"You want to see me naked?" I asked, no longer scared, just completely grossed out, I always had my suspicions about Edward being gay.

"I'M NOT GAY!" He roared.

Whoops, should have blocked that thought.

He took a few deep, unnecessary, breaths in and out. Trying to calm himself after that outburst he just had.

"What I had meant was, that _I_ don't wish to see you in the nude," Edward said a little too calmly, "But all the girls attending Forks High School do."

My eyes widened perceptively and I started shouting, "COME ON! THAT'S NOT FAIR!"

"Oh, but it is." He answered, "You see, it takes much more to humiliate you than it does to cause the same amount of humiliation in Bella. So it is, in fact, fair."

"Well, there is no way you can make me be naked in front of all the girls at Forks High School." I said stubbornly.

"Who said it was just the girls, and yes I can." He replied, sounding extremely sure of himself and his , or should I say Emmett's, plan.

"Oh really? How?" I laughed also feeling sure of myself.

Emmett stood up behind him and flexed his muscles menacingly.

Edward grinned, "Jasper, I'd like you to meet how."

Shit.

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A/N HA HA! Jasper has a potty mouth!  
So what did you think, loved it, hated it? I want to know! So click that review button, come on, you know you wanna!

**BTW, the results of the poll are now up in my profile, go look and see if your favorite Twilight Hottie won!**


	5. Well that's just fantastic

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A/N WHOOP, WHOOP! New chapter! Before we get into it though, I want to thank everybody who reviewed, and I especially want to thank those of you who have reviewed every chapter, I couldn't do it without you!

**Well, actually I could, but I wouldn't because that would be really lame if nobody reviewed.**

**Also, new poll up in my profile, go vote!**

**Disclaimer- If I owned these characters I would be too otherwise occupied to write this stuff, which should lead  
you to conclude that I DO NOT own these characters.**

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JPOV

"Emmett!" I exclaimed, "How could you help him?!"

"Well…" Emmett answered, "It was my idea, and it is gonna be funny."

Edward had sat down on the couch, smirking, when Emmett and I had started to argue.

"Funny?! How could this possibly be _FUNNY_?!" I practically screeched.

"I didn't say it was gonna be funny for _you_. What I really meant was it's going to be funny for _me_. Plus, it was my idea so I have to help." He finished proudly; he is so dead once I figure out a way to get out of this.

"Hopefully Alice can make them stop with their sick, twisted plan. After all, she couldn't possibly want all those teenage girls to see me naked." I thought to myself.

"She won't help you." Edward said in a bored voice, "She's already asked if she can film it for us."

"WHAT?" I asked in complete disbelief, "She would _never_ agree to that!"

Just then Alice practically materialized at my side.

"Actually," Alice began in a matter-of-fact voice, "I did."

"Wha-what?" I stuttered, "Why? Did I do something to make you mad?"

"No, I just thought it would be funny. And besides, it's not like I have to worry about one of those girls stealing you away from me or anything." She sang.

"I couldn't believe this was happening, my own wife turning against me, how is this possible?" I thought as I left the room and walked out the front door into our yard, "Who's going to help me now? I could always go to Carlisle and Esme, but they never get involved with our 'silly disputes' as they call them, and I doubted this time would be any different."

"WAIT! I could go to Bella! If she told Edward to stop he would! He'd do anything for her, after all."

I looked at my watch to see if I had time to get to Bella's house, but it was too late already. Even at vampire speed I wouldn't be able to make it to her house before she left for school. I guess I'd have to try and get to her there, before Edward and Emmett had time to enact their little scheme.

It was the perfect solution, I just wish I had thought of it earlier, because now I was going to have to worry about getting her away from Edward to tell her about what they were planning, and that would not be an easy, if not impossible, task.

If only I knew what time they were planning on carrying out this torture they had planned for me.

"Hey Jasper, what are you looking so glum about?"

I looked up to see I had unintentionally wandered into the garage, where Rosalie had the hood up and was working on her BMW.

"Did you hear what Edward and your husband are going to force me to do?" I asked her, angrily.

She scoffed, "You mean their stupid little revenge plan involving you being naked at lunch?"

LUNCH! So that was when they were planning it for! That should give me plenty of time.

"Are you sure they said lunch?" I said hesitantly, not wanting to make her suspicious enough to tell Emmett and have him change the time.

"Yep." She closed the hood of the car and started to wipe her hands with a rag, "He said something about there being to most people around to 'witness the humiliation' at lunch, his words, not mine. But really, I just try to ignore him when he's doing stupid stuff with you or Edward."

More people? Well _that's_ just fantastic.

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**A/N So, there's another chapter for ya! It was a little bit longer (hey! that's a Jonas Brothers song!) than I usually write, which as the Jasper in my mind would say "Well that's just fantastic!" except without the sarcasm he used. Yea, I know, I'm weird.**

**You read, so please take the 5 seconds to REVIEW!  
I want to get up to 200 reviews on this story, and I can't do that without _your_ help!**

**AND DON'T FORGET TO VOTE IN THE NEW POLL!**


	6. In a blaze of glory

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A/N Alrighty, so I got 198 reviews, not the 200 I wanted, but close enough. That and I didn't want to wait any longer to post this, because, like some of you, I was getting antsy. You gotta love my lack of patience!

**Disclaimer- I own a lot of weird stuff, unfortunately, these characters aren't part of that collection.**

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JPOV

After my little chat with Rosalie, I knew everything that I need to in order to plot my escape from my brothers' lunatic plan.

But first, I have to get dressed for school.

I took extra care dressing for the day ahead, putting on multiple pairs of underwear, two pairs of jeans, four undershirts and to top it of three sweaters. I did all of this so that if Bella couldn't help me I would still have a chance to escape, because knowing my brothers, they didn't intend to just make me take off my clothes, they were going to rip them off. So this way while they are holding the ripped garment after removing it from me they would be momentarily confused as to why I was still dressed, giving me the opportunity to haul my ass out of there.

I checked myself in the mirror after I had finished layering all my clothing and couldn't help but to think to myself how much I looked like a Ken doll on steroids.

"Haha, nice look Jazz. Are you trying to start a new fashion trend?" With some difficulty I looked over my shoulder to see Alice standing in our bathroom doorway fully dressed.

She danced over to me and held out a small jar, "Here, I got you some more hair gel."

I started to laugh hysterically as I reached out to take the gel from her.

Alice started to back away slowly.

"Jasper?" She asked in a shaky voice, "Why are you laughing?"

I straightened up, trying to get a hold of myself because I knew I was acting irrational.

Once I had finally gotten that hold I choked out, "I'm laughing… because… if you had… just given me… that," I pointed to the jar, "yesterday… I wouldn't be in … this mess!"

Her usually happy face fell, "I'm sorry about that, Jasper. If I had known sooner what you were going to do I would have stopped you, but I didn't see it until you had decided to look in Edward's bathroom, and by then it was too late for me to help." She explained in a downcast voice.

"If your sorry than why don't you stop them? We both know you could." I asked, disheartened.

"Because," She took a deep breathe, as if to steady herself, "Because Edward is having fun, as much as he acts like this is just for the sake of revenge, he is actually enjoying himself."

I stared at her in utter disbelief, "You're not going to stop them because Edward is having _fun_?"

"Jasper, we both know that you and Emmett have done things to Edward before simply for your own amusement, and he has never done anything to get either of you back, until now that is. Let him enjoy himself, ever since Bella came around he has come out of that shell he had created, and now he's finally coming out, just take one for the team this time, please?" She finished with an adorable pout that I could never say 'no' to.

I sighed, "Okay, just this once though, and I am going to get back at Emmett for his involvement in this."

"That's fine," she chirped, having perked up immediately after I agreed, "Maybe you can help Edward."

"What?"

"Oh, Edward wasn't just plotting your demise, he's been plotting for Emmett's, too." She answered with a wave of her hand, like it was nothing.

"Might I ask why?" I said curiously.

"There's no reason, it's really just because." She said like it was, again, nothing, inconsequential.

Well at least some kind of good is going to come of this, and as for my 'punishment' I was planning to now go down in a blaze of glory.

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**A/N Once again, Jasper has a potty mouth, maybe we should wash it out with some human food. **

**REVIEW and you'll get to see Jasper go out in a blaze of glory in all his glory sooner!**

**Also, poll's still up in my profile, go VOTE in it because the same rules apply to that as the above statement!**


	7. So, how much trouble am I in?

**A/N Okay, I felt bad for kinda teasing you guys with the whole 'putting up an authors note as a chapter thing' so as soon as I figured out the song I was going to use I sat my butt down and wrote! It's now 12:26 am where I live, so needless to say I should be asleep, but I wrote anyway, that's how much I love you guys, I'm giving up sleep to make you happy! **

**A special thanks to** **VampireCat3****, ****abbymasters****, ****xFlyingElephantsx****, and ****OliviaJane** **for suggesting songs that I could use.  
And a very VERY special thanks to EddiexBellsisLOVE** **for suggesting the song that I ended up using, it was perfect.**

**Disclaimer- How many times do I have to say I DON'T OWN THESE CHARACTERS!**

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JPOV

When I had decided on going down in a blaze of glory I stripped off all my extra layers, because since I was doing this willingly now, there really was no point in the excess clothing.

It soon came time for us to leave for another tedious day in High School and I climbed in the back of Edward's Volvo, much to his surprise.

Edward raised his eyebrows and looked in the rear view mirror at me, "You do remember what is happening today, correct?" He asked.

"Yes." I replied, "I'm just not going to try to avoid it any longer, you are obviously set on this particular plan so it is going to happen sooner or later, I have just decided that sooner is preferable."

"Ah, wise decision, now we won't have to hurt you." Edward said coolly and pulled out of the driveway.

We arrived at school soon after and everybody piled out of the car and headed in separate directions to our classes.

"It won't be long now." I thought glumly to myself.

**… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … **

**A FEW HOURS LATER**

It seemed as if the normally long and monotonous first half of the school day flew by and it was far too soon lunch.

I entered the small cafeteria and was almost instantly flanked by Emmett and Edward, who each grabbed hold of either of my arms and started to lead me to the back where the bathrooms were located.

As they lead me through the long room I looked around myself to see that it was filled to the brim with the entire student body of Forks High School. Once again, Edward was right, this was where the most people are. Great.

We reached the bathroom door and Edward extended his hand, as if to say, "You first."

When the three of us had filed into the small room filled with stalls Emmett locked the door and Edward began speaking:

"Okay, Jasper, here is how this is going to work," He stated, "first, you are to strip down to _nothing, _then you are going to give Emmett," he gestured to Emmett beside himself, "your clothes and he is going to take them and go to the other end of the cafeteria and stand by the doors with them; you are to walk, at a human pace, to him where he will return your garments and you will be free to redress."

I stood just listening to him carefully and absorbing every word so I could complete the process perfectly without having to repeat it a second time.

Edward spoke again, "If you do not follow these directions that I have given you and choose to run at vampire speed to the other end you will be restrained and punished _physically_. Do you have any questions?"

"Just one," I replied, "can we get this over with already?"

"As you wish." He answered.

I stripped down quickly, handing Emmett everything as I went, but hesitated when I got to my underwear and looked up at Edward almost pleadingly.

"Them too. I said everything after all." He said in a disinterested voice.

I groaned and removed them, putting them on top of the small pile in Emmett's arms, he made a face and flinched away from them.

"Gross! Jasper's tighty-whiteys!" He moaned.

Edward glared at him and Emmett closed his mouth with an audible "snap!" Emmett then turned and left the restroom, presumably to wait for me at the other end of the cafeteria.

"Now Jasper," Edward turned to look at me, "I'm going to join our family at our table, if you are not out of this room within ten seconds of me leaving, I will come back in here and force you out, understand?"

I gulped and nodded, then he turned and left, leaving me standing there completely nude with nowhere to go but out the door into a room filled with people.

"Well, here goes nothing." I said to myself and pushed open the door.

I marched out of the room with my head held high and singing at the top of my lungs so that everybody could hear me, not that that was really necessary seeing as the entire cafeteria had fallen silent and started to stare open-mouthed at me the moment that I had entered it.

_"O I'm a good old rebel, Now that's just what I am,  
And for this Yankee nation, I do not give a damn,  
I'm glad I fought against her, I only wish we'd won,  
And I ain't asked any pardon, for anything I've done!"_

By the end of the song I had arrived at the end of the cafeteria to Emmett bent over and laughing so hard that, if he could have, he would have been crying. He reached out his enormous arm that was shaking with his laughter and handed me my clothes.

I bowed and said, "Thank you!"

Then I walked out the doors to dress myself, only to run into the school principal.

I smiled sheepishly at him, like a kid who had gotten caught with their hand in the cookie jar, and then asked:

"So, how much trouble am I in?"

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**A/N So there ya go, naked Jasper! Was it good for you, cuz it was good for me!**

**There is a link in my profile to the song Jasper was singing.**

**The results of my last poll are up in my profile so pop on over there and see who the winner, or should I say loser, is!  
BTW, who voted for Kellan? I'm seriously curious to see who doesn't think he's freaking adorable!**

**REVIEW  
or else the evil monkey that lives in your closet (he's there, you just can't see him) will come out and beat you with an umbrella.  
**


	8. I wish I didn't know

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A/N So, some of you told me you wanted to know what Bella thought of the whole thing, well, here's your answer, the chapter where Jasper stripped down, except from Bella's POV.

**Also, I have a new poll up in my profile that is going to decide our dear Jasper's fate, go vote!**

**Disclaimer-We all know that I don't own these characters, so why do I have to keep telling you all?!**

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BPOV

Since I had arrived at school I had noticed that Edward was acting strange. The entire morning he was smirking at random times and basically skipping he was so happy. I had asked him what was going on a few times and each time he replied with a coy:

"You'll see soon."

Now it was lunchtime at Forks High School and Edward was acting even more excited than before, very out of character for him. I looked around the table we were sitting at with the rest of the Cullen family, minus Jasper, to see if anybody else was acting strange.

Rosalie was pulling apart a roll in a bored manner.

Emmett was doodling 'Rosalie' on the corner of his notebook.

Alice was bouncing in her seat, smiling ear-to-ear.

All of this was completely normal behavior for them, so what's gotten into Edward?

I opened my mouth to ask Edward, once again, what was going on, when he stood swiftly, and started to walk at a very quick human pace, followed closely by Emmett, to the front of the cafeteria, where I saw Jasper who must have just entered.

I went to stand to follow Edward and Alice grabbed my wrist.

"Sit back down Bella." Alice told me.

"But, Edward…"

She cut me off, "He'll be back in a minute, just sit down and enjoy the show."

I reluctantly sat and was about to ask he what she was talking about, but stopped when I saw Emmett and Edward leading a slightly frantic Jasper past our table and into the bathrooms in the back of the cafeteria.

Okay, this day is getting even stranger.

A minute after the three vampires had entered into the small bathroom Emmett sauntered out, carrying what looked like a bundle of fabric in his arms. I was expecting him to sit back down at the table, but when he got to it he just winked at Alice and kept walking until he reached the front of the cafeteria again and stood in front of the glass doors like he was waiting for something.

I looked at Alice to see if she was giving any indication as to what Emmett's strange behavior meant, but she was just searching through her bag and pulling out what appeared to be a tiny, palm sized, camcorder.

Then, I glanced over to Rosalie; she was still picking apart the same roll, as if nothing strange was happening.

"Why won't somebody tell me what's going on today?!" I thought, extremely frustrated.

Not long after, Edward left the bathroom and took his seat next to me, with a huge smile on his face. He looked over to Alice and asked:

"Is everything ready?"

"Yep!" She chirped.

"Edward, please, tell me wh-" I was cut off by Edward.

"Just watch Bella, and you will see." He said in his velvet voice.

So I did as he told me, and soon regretted it, for Jasper had finally come out of the bathroom and I now knew what the bundle Emmett had was, Jasper's clothes.

I sat there, staring, open mouthed, like every other human was doing, because it was impossible not to stare at the nude vampire that was currently marching across the room and singing at a very loud volume.

When I had finally snapped out of the trance-like state I had fallen into from shock, Jasper was bowing and taking his clothes back from Emmett, who was laughing so hard that he was shaking. I also saw that almost every girl in Forks High was snapping pictures with their cell phones of Jasper's bare behind.

Edward leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Now, love, you know what's going on."

I really wish I didn't.

**

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**

A/N So there ya go! What Bella thinks of this craziness!

**REVIEW, because that monkey in your closest has a cousin with a shoe that lives under your bed.  
BTW, the reason the monkey in your closet has an umbrella is because he's from the UK, and I hear it's very rainy there.**

**And don't forget to VOTE in my poll to decide Jazz's fate!**


	9. This is your fault!

****

A/N I had a great day today, it started with riding a H3 Hummer, because my moms SAAB was in the shop and that's what they gave her as a rental, needless to say I was psyched because Hummer's are my favorite cars (a yellow H2's with those big lights on top is my dream car), then I went to Bestbuy and FINALLY found this CD I've been looking all over for (it was HiThe Lights new CD, Skip School, Start Fights), and after that, as a grand finale to my day I saw The Dark Knight, which was the BEST movie I've seen in a few years! You totally have to see it!

**Okay, enough of my rambling, here's the results of the poll, it was a landslide 34 votes vs. 13 votes  
****On a completely random note, did you every wonder what happens to that 1percent when something is 66percent and 33percent? At one point in the poll that's how things were, and it made me wonder, "Is there some magical land where all the forgotten 1percents live? Or do they just fade into oblivion?" and _that_ made me decide to stop eating sugary candy before I go to bed, because that's the type of weird stuff that pops into my head when I do.**

**Disclaimer- It's late, I'm tired and I don't own these characters.**

* * *

JPOV 

"Oh, quite a bit," he answered with a scowl, "I've already called the police."

That's not good.

"WHAT?!" I exclaimed, "WHY?!"

"Because public nudity is illegal, now please put your pants on." He huffed, and held up a hand as if to shield his eyes from my nakedness

Great, just freakin great! Now I get to go to jail!

I pulled my pants on and right then I saw the flashing lights and heard the screaming of sirens as the police cruiser pulled into the school parking lot.

I can understand the lights, but were the sirens really necessary?

The car's engine shut off and a uniformed officer stepped out of the car and strolled up to the principal and myself.

"So, this the kid you called us about?" He asked, he seemed to be trying too hard to act nonchalant, but I could feel annoyance rolling off of him.

"Yes, this is him." The principal responded in a superior voice.

"Alrighty then, turn around son, I gotta take you in."

All of this had happened before I had a chance to say anything, so I just resigned my self to doing as the officer asked and turned around, defeated.

Once I had turned around, I was facing the cafeteria, and could see that the entire student body had their noses pressed against the glass windows, watching me be arrested. Two faces in particular jumped out at me, Edward who was smiling smugly and Emmett, who was still laughing and now pointing at me.

The officer cuffed me and started to read me my rights and lead me to the cruiser.

While he pushed me into the backseat, which were a hard, uncomfortable plastic, the children that before were contained in the cafeteria were now bursting out the doors to try and get a better look, that's when I saw Edward again.

"You better come bail me out, you bastard! This is all your fault!" I screamed in my thoughts to him.

He just smiled even wider than before.

The car door slammed and the officer, who's name was a mystery, climbed into the front drivers side, started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

Carlisle is going to be _real_ happy when he finds out about this.

* * *

**A/N Jasper got arrested AND he still has a potty mouth! He needs a spanking, any volunteers?  
HAHA, just kidding, get your minds out of the gutter!  
****Now we must find out what happens when he gets to the police station, and because I'm nice, I will eventually add in an angry Carlisle so nobody is disappointed! Awesome, ain't it?**

**And yes, this chapter was short, but that's because it's really just a filler.**

**REVIEW, because those monkeys I was telling you about discovered Home Depot, and they ****now have sledge-hammers.**


	10. That can't be good

**A/N Guess what I did today! Drove! For the first time EVER, and nobody got hurt! YEH!**

**Disclaimer- I think we all know by now that I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**JPOV**

When we had finally gotten to the station the officer dragged me into the building, then he uncuffed my hands from behind my back, just to recuff them in front of me.

"Sit." He commanded and pointed to a wooden bench.

I sat and he disappeared down a hallway leading off the right side of the room. I was left sitting, alone.

I could have easily broken the handcuffs and gotten out of there, but that would probably have gotten me in more trouble than I was already going to be in with Carlisle.

So I sat and waited.

**CharliePOV**

I was going through some papers on my desk when I heard a knock on my office's door.

I looked up and saw Bob Jones, my deputy, standing in the doorway.

"Hey Bob, what do ya need?" I asked.

Bob sighed, "Can you come book this kid I just brought in, I need to take my lunch break?"

"Sure, what's he in for?"

"Public nudity," Bob responded, "He went streaking through the High School cafeteria."

I suppressed a chuckle. Ah, to be young again!

"Alright, I'll be right there, go ahead and go to lunch." I told him in the most serious voice I could manage.

**JPOV**

I heard footsteps coming down the hall, they were heavier than those of the officer who had arrested me, Deputy Robert Jones, as I had learned from the 'Officer of the Month' plaque that was hanging across from me with his picture displayed on it.

I looked up and saw a dark haired man standing in front of me, clearly trying to hide a smirk.

"Okay, kid, stand up." He said in a voice that was meant to be serious.

I did, and as I was standing my eyes widened into a look of sheer panic. I had seen the name on his badge.

Chief C. Swan, it read, as in Charlie Swan, as in Bella's father.

That can't be good.

**

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**

A/N Yes, it's short, but I needed to set the stage for what's coming!  
I should have the next chapter up in 2-3hours, but if I don't that just means I got distracted watching Generation Kill, because Kellan is so darn adorable!

**I wish I had a good monkey related threat to make you review, but it seems many of you have befriended your monkeys, so they will no longer help me. The dang traitors.  
Ah well, REVIEW anyways!**


	11. Don't get your panties in a knot

**A/N Sorry guys, I know that was more than 3 hours, like I said, Generation Kill distracts me. BTW, Kellan is so cute when he says, "Brawh." **

**Disclaimer  
Me- I OWN TWILIGHT!  
Emmett- No you don't.  
Me- Yea, you're right, I don't. Sure wish I did though.  
Emmett- Why?  
Me- Cuz then I'd own ****_you  
_Emmett- (backs away slowly)**

* * *

CharliePOV

When I told the kid to stand he looked absolutely panicked.

"He must have never been arrested before." I thought and brushed it off.

"Walk in front of me straight down the hall on your left until you get to the last door." I told him.

He did as I said and when we got to the door I opened it and he walked inside before me.

I looked at his face again, he looked awfully familiar, but in a town as small as Forks is, that's not saying much.

"First," I began to explain after I had shut the door behind myself, "I am going to take a booking photo and then I am going fingerprint you, nothing to worry about." I tired to calm him down because he looked like he was going to pass out with fear.

He nodded his head solemnly.

I grabbed the board that has to be held up for each photo and lead him over to the marks on the wall indicating height.

Wow, this kid is tall, exactly 6 foot 3.

I handed him the board, "Alright, I'm going to take three pictures, first face front, them face the left, and then the right."

He complied, and I quickly snapped the three pictures and was ready to move onto fingerprinting.

When I grabbed his hand to press it into the ink I jumped, his skin was freezing cold!

"Sorry." He apologized.

I just shook my head a little to clear it, this was one strange boy and I still couldn't shake the feeling that I knew him from somewhere.

"You know what," I said, plopping down into a chair, "let's just skip this for now and move on to the questioning."

He nodded and sat down in the chair opposite me.

I took out a pen and paper and poised my pen to start writing.

"Okay, let's start with something easy, name?" I asked him.

He mumbled something intelligible.

"Could you repeat that?"

He sighed and said clearly, "Jasper Whitlock Hale."

Wait a minute; I put my pen down, "Aren't you one of Doctor Cullen's kids?"

"Yes sir." He mumbled again.

I was completely shocked, in all the year's the Cullen's have lived in Forks their kids hadn't gotten in any trouble, not even a speeding ticket, and now one of them is running around the high school naked. I was now extremely curious as to what had caused such a drastic change.

I leaned on the table a little and started to rub my forehead, Jasper scooted back an inch like he was afraid I was going to explode.

"Jasper," I began, "Why were you running around the school nude?"

"Well… technically, I wasn't running and it was just the cafeteria, not the whole school." He said scared, yet still, matter-of-fact tone.

"Fine, what caused you to do that?" I questioned him, getting a little annoyed because of his last answer.

"My brothers, Emmett and Edward,"

JPOV

Chief Swan's ears perked up at hearing Edward's name, I could feel the new interest that my story held for him, and I realized how I could make this a bad situation for Edward.

Then I continued, "You see, I accidentally…" I stopped and searched for the right terminology, because I couldn't tell Charlie the entire story, "_embarrassed_," yea, that's a good way to describe it, "your daughter,Bella, I then apologized to her and she forgave me, but when Edward found out he overreacted, as he tends to do," I stopped again to let that sink in.

When it had I could feel Charlie's anger, but it wasn't for me it was for Edward; no father likes his daughter to have a boyfriend that overreacts that could mean he's violent.

"Go on," he said through clenched teeth.

"So Edward threatened me with physical harm if I didn't go through with this little stunt of his." I stated and then continued, "You see, sir, I could handle Edward if he didn't have help, but he somehow enlisted the help of our other brother, Emmett. Although, I would not, in any way, blame Emmett for this because he isn't too bright," I knew Emmett was very smart, but he didn't need problems with Chief Swan, and I could deal with him later on my own.

"So," Charlie was trembling a bit, "that this is all Edward's doing?"

"Yes sir, you see Edward is a sadist, he gets pleasure out of other peoples pain." I chirped.

Charlie was getting to be a little scary, so I sent some waves of calm over him, I needed him mad at Edward, but not that mad.

He took a deep breath. "Is that everything?" he asked.

"Yes, I believe so."

"Alright then," he stood, "I guess I should take you to have your phone call and then to the holding cell."

"What?!" I exclaimed, I was expecting him to let me off after I had told him about Edward.

"Sorry son, I have to arrest you, what you did is illegal, but I'm not going to press any charges. Come on stand up and start walking." He said.

I sighed, ah well, at least Charlie is still mad at Edward.

We got to the phone and Charlie took off my handcuffs.

"You get one minute." He stated.

I picked up the phone and dialed Emmett's number, he picked up on the first ring.

"Hey! How's my favorite inmate doing?" He boomed.

"Well, I'd be doing better if_ somebody _would come and bail me out already," I told him through gritted teeth.

"Ah, don't get your panties in a knot Jazz, me and Eddie are on our way over."

I heard from somewhere in the background,"DON'T CALL ME EDDIE!"

I smiled devilishly. Perfect, Edward's coming.

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**A/N Guess what! This is the longest chapter I've ever written! Woo Hoo! Go me!**

**REVIEW! Or else giant pandas will steal all your left shoes!**


	12. After all, it is a great picture

**A/N Okay, I was watching Penelope, as I'm sure most of you have by now, and I thought Max/Johnny was reallycute _and_he has vampire teeth (that's what I call peoples teeth when they're really white and have kinda pointy canines) which, to me, makes a guy cuter, so I looked up the guy, who's real name is James McAvoy, on imdb because I thought he looked familiar and I wanted to see what else he was in. It turns out, he played Mr.Tumnus, the _faun_, from the first Chronicles of Narnia. I was lmao for an hour after I found that out.  
Yes, as I've said before; I know, I'm weird.**

**Disclaimer: If I was Stephenie Meyer I would have already read Breaking Dawn, but I haven't and I'm not, so I don't own these characters.**

* * *

JPOV

After I had hung the phone up, Charlie escorted me to the one and only cell the Forks Police Department possessed.

I sat on the bench that ran down the middle of the tiny cell.

And now I wait.

EPOV

I was listening to Emmett's conversation with Jasper, and from the sound of it Jasper wasn't too happy, ah well, he'll get over it eventually.

Emmett pulled his massive jeep into a minuscule parking space outside of the police station. We climbed out simultaneously and walked into the building's front room.

It contained two long benches on either wall and in the middle was a desk, at which a woman who was dressed in a navy police uniform was seated.

She appeared to be preoccupied with a stack of papers in front of her and didn't even glance up at us when we walked in, she simply said, "Take a seat, I'll be with you in a moment."

Emmett was being, well, Emmett, and didn't listen to her.

He wandered around the small room looking at things and finally stopped at the desk.

"Sooo, what cha got there?" Emmett inquired of her in an irritating voice.

"Sir," she replied in a serious tone, still not looking up from her papers, "I told you to sit down."

He sighed and slowly started to walk away, "Alright, fine," but then he stopped.

"Oh my GOD! Is _that_… on my god, it _is_!" He squealed, not something you would expect from a enormous vampire, but all the same, he did.

Emmett then grabbed what appeared, at first, to just be a rigid piece of paper; then I saw what it truly was.

"It's Jazz's mugshot!" He exclaimed far too loudly.

Just as Emmett started to do a happy dance, with the female officer protesting vehemently, trying with all her might to snatch the photo of Jasper from him, I heard Charlie's thoughts.

"What the heck is going on out there?" Charlie thought to himself as he walked down the hall to investigate.

His face, and his thoughts quickly turned from curious to infuriated, once he had spotted me leaning against the far wall, as far away as was possible in this small space, from Emmett and the officer, who was now jumping up in an attempt at procuring the photograph for Emmett.

"Emmett," I whispered so only he would hear me, "Stop before you get us arrested, too."

"What? Why?" He boomed.

"Because Chief Swan is standing in the doorway." I whispered once again.

He stopped immediately and dropped his hands from above his head, where he had been holding them to keep the photos out of the petite officer's reach. Now that they were in within reach she grabbed them out of his hands.

"I'll be taking those, thank _you_." She said in a superior voice. Then smoothed out her uniform and went to sit behind the desk again as if nothing had happened.

Charlie then said, in the closest thing humanly possible to a growl, "What is going on out here?"

Emmett's face broke out into a huge, goofy grin.

"Chief Swan," he opened his arms wide and took four huge steps towards him, and proceeded to wrap Charlie up in a bear hug, "Long time no see!"

"Who-are-you?" Charlie choked out, obviously lacking air.

"Emmett." I warned under my breath.

"Oh," he dropped Charlie, "sorry about that! I'm Emmett Cullen, I'm here to bail out my inmate of a brother, Jasper."

I read Charlie's thought which were no longer angry at Emmett for his behaviour.

"Isn't this the one Jasper had told me was on the dim side?" He thought to himself.

At that I had to work very had to attempt to stifle a laugh, Chief Swan heard and turned to glare at me.

"Edward." He said through gritted teeth.

"Chief Swan." I replied as politely as possible and moved to shake his hand, "I'm sorry about my brother, he sometimes forgets his own strength; that and he isn't too bright."

"Hey!" Emmett shouted indignantly.

I just waved him off, "All things aside we are here to post out brothers bail."

He released my hand, grunted, and moved over to the desk. I decided to read his mind then to see if I could get some insight as to why he appeared to be angry with me.

"Stupid smug Cullen kid, walking around like he's God's gift to the world…"

His thought continued in the same tenor, but never offering a reason as to why his mood toward me had changed so suddenly, I mean just last week we watched a baseball game together!

That's when it occurred to me, Jasper must have said something to him. Figures, he is such a baby!

"It's going to be 400 dollars." He grunted again.

I pulled out my wallet and paid him in hundreds.

"Just wait here a minute and I'll go get him," Charlie said in response to me giving him the money.

I went over to a bench and sat down to wait.

A few minutes later a very weary Jasper walked down the hallway followed by Charlie.

When they had gotten into the front room Charlie turned to Jasper and smiled at him, "You try to keep out of trouble now."

Jasper shook his hand, "I will, thanks for not charging me, Chief Swan."

"Ah, it's no problem, you're a good kid," He told Jasper and then turned to glare at me, "You stay out of trouble, too."

I nodded my head in response as Jasper sauntered over to Emmett and myself.

Just when I thought we were leaving, Emmett turned on his heels and asked Charlie, "Hey, you think I can get a copy of that?" he pointed to what I assumed was Jasper's booking photo again.

Charlie looked confused for a minute then responded, "I guess, actually you can take this one, I'm not going to need it since we're not charging him."

"Awesome!" Emmett shouted and ran over to Charlie, took the photo, and ran back over to Jasper and me.

Emmett grinned ear-to-ear as we left the station and climbed into his Jeep.

"Emmett," I said once we were speeding down the road to our home, "what are you planning to do with that photo?"

"Oh nothing, I was just gonna blow it up and frame it, after all, it is a great picture of you Jazz." He responded.

Jasper groaned from the back seat while all I could do was shake my head.

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**A/N I want to thank those of you who sent me a PM with a review for the last chapter because the reviews weren't working right. I wish I could thank you by name, but I accidentally deleted all of the messages, but if you are one of those 4 or 5 people, thanks so much!**

**REVIEW! Because the panda has temtped the monkeys back to the dark side with cookies!**


	13. GET UP HERE!

**A/N OMJ! OMJ! OMJ! I have the most amazing freaking news _ever_! Two or so days ago, I woke up, got dressed and went downstairs and grabbed a cold piece of pizza, and yes, that was my breakfast, but on with the story. I walked into our living room where my mom and sister were reading the paper so I could grab the comics and my mom says,  
"Did you see the front page today?"  
"Not yet. Why?" I replied.  
"Just look." She said smugly.  
So I did, and guess what! The JONAS BROTHERS are moving to Dallas, about 30min away from me!  
I seriously couldn't stop screaming for five minutes straight, my dad now thinks I'm more insane than before.**

**One last thing, can anybody tell me what a staff member of a C2 community does, I was invited to be one and after I accepted, I realized, I have no idea what the heck I'm supposed to do!**

**Disclaimer- Nothing has changed, I still don't own Twilight.**

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JPOV

When we had finally gotten home I got out of the Jeep and into the house as fast as I possibly could because Emmett's gloating was really getting on my nerves, he just wouldn't shut-up about me being arrested.

"Hi Jazz!" Alice chirped as she hoped up off the couch to greet me.

Bella was also seated on the couch trying her hardest to not look at me and I could feel her extreme embarrassment.

After giving Alice a quick kiss I turned to Bella.

"Bella," I said, "I'm sorry about earlier, I know you probably didn't want to see that."

Still not looking at me she replied, "You're right, but it's fine."

"No, look I want to explain, if it hadn't been for Edward that would have never happened." I explained.

Her head snapped up and she looked, no, _glared_ at me.

"What," she hissed, "do you mean by 'if it hadn't been for Edward'?"

"Well," I began, "I'm not sure if I should tell you…"

"Jasper…" Bella growled. Wow, who knew the human could be scary?

"Fine, he forced me to do _that_," I shuddered remembering the events of this past day, "as a sort of…punishment, for walking in on you while you were showering yesterday."

Now looking back it was hard to believe that all this had started because of a simple mistake, and the fact that that particular mistake had just occurred yesterday; it seemed so long ago.

"HE _WHAT_?!" Bella shouted incredulously, "He didn't, he _wouldn't!_"

"He would," Emmett answered her as he walked in the front door and dropped himself onto the love seat across from Bella, "and he _did_."

Now she was fuming, "I can't believe him! Ohh, when I get my hands on him he is in so much trouble…"

"Who's in trouble?" Edward asked innocently, having practically materialized while we were all being distracted by Bella's anger, mainly because that is such a rare emotion from her.

She whipped around and shot daggers at him with her eyes, Edward shrunk back as if he had been burned. Apparently he hadn't seen this side of Bella either.

"You… Jasper… naked… school… trouble…" She was so furious that she couldn't form a coherent sentence.

Once Edward had finally realized what she was talking about, he looked about ready to kill me when…

"EDWARD! JASPER! EMMETT! GET UP HERE _RIGHT NOW!_"

It was Carlisle, and apparently, he knew.

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**A/N Sorry, I know, cliffy.**

**BTW, is anybody going to the Twilight party at the Barnes and Noble on Preston and Park in Plano, Texas?  
If you are I'd love to know cause that's the one I'm going to and I'm dressing up as Rosalie.**

**REVIEW, or else a walrus will sit on you!**

**Oh yeah, I put a random poll up in my profile, go VOTE!**


	14. Below the Belt

**A/N Okay, this is just something really random that's been getting on my nerves, I have a three piece poster above my bed, those of you who read these authors notes probably know who said posters are of, if not I'll tell you, it's the Jonas Brothers, Kevin is right above my head, Nick's in the middle, and Joe is on the end. They are separate posters but if you put them right next to each other they form one big picture and say "Have a rockin summer!", well the Joe one keeps falling down, and when that happens the other two fall, also. This has happened 9times in the past two days, and I have started yelling at the Joe poster for it. It is seriously making me lose my mind!**

**Disclaimer- If only I actually owned Twilight...**

* * *

JPOV

When Carlisle screamed for us everybody froze. It is very rare for Carlisle to get mad, in all the years I've known him I've only ever seen him mad twice, which is a good thing because when he's angry, he's scarier than all the vampire armies I've ever faced put together.

The three of us trudged up the stairs to Carlisle's office, with our heads hung low in despair. Nobody would dare disobey Carlisle when he's this furious, but nobody ever wants to face him then, either.

"Sit," Carlisle growled at us when we walked into his office, pointing to three chairs that were positioned in front of his desk.

"Now," he continued in the same angry tone as before, "does anybody want to explain to me exactly _why_ I got a call from the school saying that Jasper was streaking in the cafeteria _and _from Charlie Swan telling me Jasper had been arrested?"

"Well," Emmett spoke up cheerily, "he got arrested for the streaking; look I got his mugshot!"

He stood up and started to remove the photo from his pocket, while Carlisle glared at him.

"Emmett, sit back down," Edward hissed quietly.

Emmett took one look at Carlisle and did as he was told.

"Jasper," Carlisle turned to me, "how about you explain?"

I grew nervous at being put in the spotlight and stammered:

"Well it-it's a la-long sta-story…"

"Then start from the beginning," He replied, having started to cool down a bit.

No longer feeling the rage that Carlisle had been emitting since we entered his office, I was able to speak clearly again.

"Well it all started when I accidentally walked in on Bella while she was showering…"

30 minutes later

"and then I got arrested." I finished somewhat lamely.

"So," Carlisle mused, "This was all Emmett's idea, but Edward's doing."

"Yes sir." I answered as Edward and Emmett shot daggers at me with their eyes.

"Well then, seeing as you have already suffered enough, Jasper, you are off the hook, this time," He said seriously, "as for you two," he looked at Edward and Emmett, who shrunk back into their chairs, "You still need to be reprimanded. I'm thinking something along the lines of community service."

"What?!" Emmett roared, "but I didn't do anything!"

"Yes you did, you thought of it. Now as I was saying, you will be doing some community service. Picking up all the trash on the highway that leads from Forks to Seattle to be clear, and at a _human _pace, no vampire powers allowed." Carlisle stated calmly.

"And if we don't?" Edward challenged, something that he had never done to Carlisle before, even with his anger issues.

"I don't have anger issues." Edward growled and I just rolled my eyes.

"If you don't there will be no Bella for a month, and as for you Emmett, if you don't I will send Rosalie to live with the Denali coven for a month."

Edward glared even more furiously than before at him and Emmett stared in utter disbelief because of how below the belt that threat was.

He had found their weakness.

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**A/N So, I have a new oneshot, go read it! It's called Time to Wake Up! and involves lots of Emmett-y craziness!**

**Also, do you guys remember at the beginning of this story? I was basically begging for 15 reviews and all my stories had 600 or less hits?  
Well I just wanted to say you guys are amazing, I now have over 478 reviews and almost 20,000 hits on this story alone! Thank you all so much!**

**REVIEW! Or Breaking Dawn will be completely sold out and you won't be able to get a copy!**


	15. You Missed A Spot

**A/N So, remember that poster I was rambling about in the last chapter? Oh good, you do. Well I have something more to tell you, last night, or I guess I should say this morning, at 3am, the Joe poster decided to fall, again, and once again he took his brothers with him, landing right on my head. Well that made me mad, , so I took a stapler and rammed a staple through Joe's forehead so he would stay on the wall, and WHA-LA! Problem solved.  
I feel kinda bad about it now though, I haven't been getting a lot of sleep lately and I took my anger out on him. :-(**

**Disclaimer- I get sad everytime I have to say I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

JPOV

It had been about two weeks since the big streaking through the school cafeteria incident, and since then the school had moved on to new gossip and it had been blown over, well at least for the most part.

You see, Alice thought it would be fun to distribute that video she had made, of what we will now simply refer to as 'the incident', to the entire school, needless to say one of them had posted it on that infernal website, Youtube. So now my bare butt was up on the Internet for the world to see because of my dear wife.

There was also the fact that even though I had been arrested for 'the incident', the school thought that they should still punish me, so I ended up with detention for a week.

And on top of all that, Emmett had taken my mugshot and made somewhere around 100 posters and many, many more regular sized copies and plastered them all over the school in the dead of night. The school faculty still hasn't taken them all down because of the sheer bulk of which they had been hung up.

Oh well, it could be worse; I could have to pick up trash with Edward and Emmett along the side of the highway for a month.

Actually that reminds me, I need to pay them a little visit, just so I can gloat a little.

I drove down the highway in Alice's Porsche to where Edward and Emmett were standing in neon orange reflective vests and rubber gloves, picking up trash with one of those pointy sticks.

"So," I shouted out my already rolled down window, "How's it feel to be picking up human garbage?"

"Disgusting, I found a dirty adult diaper earlier!" Emmett replied crinkling up his nose like he could smell in now.

"Emmett, shut up." Edward said in a bored tone, "Jasper what do you want?"

"Oh nothing, just wanted to check and make sure you were doing this the way you're supposed to." I answered with a smirk.

"Well that _so _nice of you, now how about you get lost?" Edward growled.

"Fine, but first, you missed a spot." I told him

"What, no I did-" He stopped talking as I dumped a bunch of soda cans out the window.

Before he had a chance to strangle me, as he looked like he wanted to, I speed off.

Edward following far behind, running at a human pace because of the other cars, cursing me and throwing the empty soda cans.

"Now," I thought to myself as I observed Edward getting smaller and smaller in my rear view mirror, "How should I get my revenge on Emmett?"

* * *

**A/N So, the results of the poll are up in my profile, and I gotta say, they surprised me. BTW, if you voted for Kevin, it's great that you like him, but BACK OFF, HE'S MINE! LOL, JK, I'm not _that _crazy (yet).**

**One more thing, this is the LAST chapter of Shower Stories, as much fun as I have had writing it, I feel this is the best place for it to end. BUT, before you get too upset let me tell you that there SHOULD be a sequel, but just like with this story, I need ideas for the torture Jasper is plotting for Emmett!**

**Now, go forth and REVIEW! After all, this is your last chance to!**


	16. SEQUEL NEWS

**Okay guys, the first chapter for Shower Stories sequel is up, currently titled Day of Reckoning, but that may change as the plot to the story devlopes, we'll have to see.**

**So now it is _your _job to pop on over to my profile, scroll down to the stories I have written, find Day of Reckoning, click it, read it, and then, last but certainly not least REVIEW it!**

**I know it sounds like a lot of work but it isn't really, now GO!**


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